Updated: Feb 10, 2020
So the big day is approaching. The day of your babies birth is coming and you need to know who you will have with you, regardless of where the baby arrives. So how do you pick the winning team?
We know that women who have good support in labour cope better with giving birth, use less pain relief and feel more in control but having the wrong people can slow things right down, so getting the combination right is an important step in your planning.
In essence, we humans are complicated mammals and when mammals give birth, they find themselves a quiet and secure place to have their babies. Although humans often give birth in an environment which is not quite the same as a warm, dark burrow, when asking people to be on your support team, you need to consider whether or not the people you ask are going to be more, or less disturbing to have in the birth area with you.
There is a degree of expectation that fathers are now at the birth of their baby, but what if the father of your baby doesn't want to be there? Will he be more likely to be a disruptive influence or, when it comes to the crunch, will he deal with his squeamishness and be great help on the day. If you think he will demand all the attention and you will be concerned about his needs rather than yours , it may be best to look at other options.
How about those people in your life who feel entitled to be there, but you aren't really comfortable with? These people will possibly slow your labour progress on the day, and should be given other "important" jobs to do, such as updating your progress on Facebook or organizing your postpartum party.
What if you have nobody who you feel can help support you on the day? Doulas are specially trained people who attend births in order to provide women in labour with physical and emotion support. Doulas are available in lots of areas and could be an option for you.
The person or people you want to have with you need to be concentrating on you , and only you, while you are in labour. They will need to respond to your cues and wishes and they need to be prepared for a degree of physical effort, such as back massage.
So find the people in your tribe who can give you unconditional support, who will abide by your wishes and who don't mind being in the background for the day and let them be your cheer leading superstars for the birth of your baby.